You Jealous Little Minx
by gleekyk
Summary: Robin couldn't figure out why she hated Barney's girl of the night, but Barney had a theory. Wow. That was a really lame summary. ONESHOT


**A/N: Another one shot! This one takes place during season four. I hope you like it!**

The girl was hot. That was clear to Robin, even from across the bar. She was an average Tuesday night for Barney Stinson, but for some reason Robin felt deep hated for this stupid little whore. She scoffed looking over at the two, and the way that Barney leaned into her. He was sealing the deal for sure, she could tell by the way she giggled and smiled at him. She remembered the time that she had sex with Barney. It was her who seduced him, not that it took much seducing. Barney was always ready when there was a pretty woman in front of him.

She noticed that Barney slipped away to the bathroom. What was he thinking. The girl was ready to go and he left her for even a minute. Bad idea. "I'll be right back." Robin said to Marshall and Lily, wondering if they noticed she'd been watching Barney and the slutty whore for the last five minutes. "Hi." Robin said, sitting at the stool next to the bimbo. Robin noticed that she smelled like a cheap hooker, but that was besides the point. "That man you were talking to…"

"Doctor Von Skeebleman?"

Robin rolled her eyes, wondering how any woman could fall for his lies. "Yeah." She said, "If I were you, I wouldn't go home with him." Barney was going to be mad. He was going to be mad for sure.

"Why not?"

"Trust me, I went home with him once. It was the worst experience of my life. Lets just say that he definitely wasn't packing. And he also gave me chlamydia." She quickly slipped away when she saw Barney returning, and took her seat back at the booth across from Lily and Marshall.

"What the hell was what?" Lily asked.

Robin shrugged, trying to contain her smile. "Just having a little fun."

"What ever you said worked." Marshall said, not hiding his laughter. "The Barnman just got slapped."

"Well we're out of here." Lily said, grabbing her purse and getting up. "Have fun dealing with that."

"What? No." Robin whined. "He's going to yell at me." But Lily and Marshall were already gone, probably doing some heavy petting in the cab.

"You jealous little minx." Barney said, sitting across from her.

"What are you talking about?"

"That women was a done deal, and then she changes her mind and when I ask her why she tells me to ask you."

Robin smiled a little, surprised that Barney wasn't more angry with her. "I'm sorry Doctor Von Skeebleman. I don't know what got into me."

"Maybe a little disease called jealousy?" He suggested.

"Jealous? Of what? That stupid little skank? Yeah right."

"If you want another ride on the Barney Train, all you have to do is ask." He said with a wink. "I'm ready for you anytime any place."

"Well that's just… of course I don't want to have sex with _you _again. Gross." Her cheeks were turning a light shade of pink. Barney took notice to this and smiled.

"Your blushing Scherbatsky." He said in the same tone that he used when trying to land his next girl of the night.

"Because just the thought makes me sick." She said, more confidently.

"What did you say to that girl?" Barney asked curiously.

"That you had a small dick."

Barney spit his drink out, getting scotch and soda all over the table and Robin.

"Gross." She mumbled.

"I am appalled that you would even joke about something like that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Little Barney."

She laughed. "That's not what she thinks."

"I'm good at sex." he whined.

She gave him a smug grin and took another sip from her drink.

"Okay, now you have to spill."

"Spill what?"

"Say that I'm good at sex."

She shrugged. "I can't do that."

Barney's jaw fell open. "Are you saying that I'm lacking in certain… departments?" Robin knew that she was lying threw her teeth, Barney knew exactly what to do when to do it. To say he was good at sex was an understatement, but he didn't need to know that, and it was fun see the expressions on Barney's face. "You seemed to enjoy it perfectly fine if I remember correctly."

She rolled her eyes. "I slept with Ted for a year. I know a thing or two about faking it."

"So you really don't think I'm good at sex."

"I didn't say that."

"So I am good at sex?"

"I didn't say that either."

"Okay, Scherbatsky. That's it. Rematch."

"Rematch?"

"My apartment. Now."

She moved back in her seat, keeping her cool. "What makes toy think that I would want to have sex with you again, Barney?"

He gave her those eyes. The bedroom eyes that fooled so many women before her. "Those aren't going to work on me." She said, even thought they already where.

"I don't have all night." he said in a low and sexual voice. "Are you going to let me show you how a real man does it or what?"

She was done. She raised her eyebrows, pretending like her insides were going a million miles per minutes. "Do you think that you have what it takes?"

"If by what it takes you mean the ability to keep you satisfied all night long. I think we both know that answer to that question in yes."

She wanted that bad. "Have you just challenged yourself."

"Challenge accepted." He said, leaning closer into her. She wondered if he'd been thinking about this for longer than this night. A part of her thought that he might have been wanting a second chance at this for a while.

"Well lets see if I can prove you wrong tonight."

She didn't prove him wrong.

He kept her satisfied all night.

She rolled over, still panting, wondering when the room was going to stop spinning and hoping this after glow was never going to end. "That was…"

"Say it." Barney said.

"Say what?"

"Say that I'm good at sex."

She let out a chuckle. "You're good at sex." As if she didn't make that clear already


End file.
